What is marriage for you? Is this something that “must” be done? Is it your social honor? Restoration? The confirmation? Proof of love, devotion, and other feelings for each other? Does it finally matter to have a wedding? How do we feel? Do the covenants have the same power within us? The simple co-habitation?
Everyone has the right to see as he wishes. We may believe that marriage at the town hall is exactly the same thing. Or even the cohabitation agreement. Isn’t it our right? Yes, we may believe that it is more important to be with each other and to be good, to have common goals, to have common dreams. You may actually behave and feel better and more bonded than if you had a wedding. And we support you!
We may consciously support religious marriage, but for us marriage is essentially love, dedication, bonding, bonding of two people who, though different, decide together, when necessary, to leave their personal ‘needs’ and work as a group, without selfishness. They decide that their own desires can fit into the desires of the other and together they will try to make their dreams come true.
Not only their dreams, but also the other’s. “And the two are fleshed in one”. Let’s stop for a moment to think about this for a while. What do these words mean? What does this really mean for everyone? Is it difficult to implement? How does a marriage (of any form) succeed? How do we manage to pass the years and be united and loved despite the difficulties?
It is true that as the years go by, we change. Not only us, but also the others. We do not need to be self-centered. Our neighbor, our partner, our fellow roommate is our choice and we should never forget that. Why did we choose him? What drew us to him? In the midst of difficulties, why did we stay together and how much did they get us? Are they more powerful than we feel? How much has he supported us? These and other questions are important, not expressions of the type: How much I have helped him! How much I have supported him!
We also have to think these because we sometimes end up being exploited, but in normal situations and conditions, let’s look at our own mistakes, not just our ‘needs’. We also have obligations to each other, to our choice, not just rights!
It is also true that the divisions have now reached the point of being done in the slightest. We run out of bounds on quarrels, groans, applause, insults … many times in front of our own children. These are the kids that we try to protect from everything bad. What a contradiction! Just as we try to protect ourselves, we are also witnesses of the mismanagement of our personal emotions, our personal choices!
Can we do something?
In these cases, instead of exhausting our limits on all these negative things, should we give all our energy to the ways we can use to save the situation? Yes, we may also need to seek help from an expert. Not bad, just equal. Still, even if we do end up with a split, at least we will have tried. And maybe we can achieve a separation without quarrels, voices, and negative effects on both us and our children.
Sometimes there are few things that separate us and many more that unite us. However, we forget the good easier. Unfortunately, we remember more strongly those that bother us, those that bother us. Why don’t we remember the difficult times that united us and continue to unite us? What if in the midst of a heated fight, we stopped talking about insults and things that hurt both of us and did something that could unite us? If we took our kids a big hug and went for a walk, solving the problems a little later with a quiet chat? What if we were silent to watch our wedding video??
Food for though
Think about what marriage, religious or political, means to you, whether in a cohabitation or a cohabitation form. Exhaust the limits of the love you have inside you! Remember…. Our partner was, is and will remain the choice we made, our choice!
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