Self-esteem refers to the possibilities and abilities that the child himself believes that he has or does not have, so that he can perform various activities, tasks or anything else that is asked of him.
In another article we have referred to the low self-confidence of children (see Why does my kid have low self-confidence?). But there are subtle and key points that make us understand the differences between self-confidence and self-esteem. It is very important to realize that they are two completely different concepts that however have some gaps. It is necessary to understand that one self-esteem and another self-confidence.
Self-esteem is about how the child sees himself. Whether he thinks he is beautiful or ugly, whether he is worth it or not as a person, whether he believes he is smart or not.
Just daily tips to help my child
- The role of the family is very important in these cases. So, for example, when our child has more weight than the appropriate, we also emphasize this element by saying “How did you become like this?”, then we destroy the self-esteem he has. Therefore, he will either avoid looking in the mirror, he will feel bad even for a new outfit or he will even have eating disorders (see also How to love yourself)… Something you do as a parent would not want for your child, however we all ignore that even one comment is enough!
- Try not to associate reward or failure with any food, dessert or snack. If we exclude the young ages, where of course we have to be careful, a beautiful or productive day does not necessarily have to be combined with a snack, or respectively a bad day with some sadness, failure or more stress combined with the consumption of sweets.
- Give them the opportunity to express their opinions and desires and not be passive in their own lives doing what others ask of them. Do not forget… These “others” can be you today, but tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, in 2,3,5 years? What if at school or on a walk someone asks them to do something they do not really want to do?
- Enhance their need and desire for exercise. Sport is beneficial not only for health but also for psychology. Think about how much more beneficial a team sport is, where the child will not only learn to be a member of a team, to share, to obey the rules, and the needs of the team, he is also faced with comparisons which, in combination with everything else, will enable him not to be disappointed and to try. He will defeat defeatism!
- Speak nicely to the children, emphasizing, without exaggeration, of course, some elements of their character, some of their abilities. Always about things that are true and not something that is not real. Encourage children to do what you think they can accomplish and let them try, if necessary, over and over again…
Because every child and every case is different, let us not forget that there are specialists who can help us with our child, in order to handle the situation in the best possible way. Do not be afraid to ask for their help!
Let’s give our children the love, care and attention they need and then we will be able to understand them better!