January 21. World Hug Day. What can someone say about the hug? It is probably the most important thing we can give each other… A hug… Sign of love, expression of our feelings…. It relieves us of all tensions, of stress, of anxiety, even of intense grief. It is not uncommon that when something happens to us we need a hug.
Sample, apart from love, that someone is here for us, that he supports us, that we can rely on him, that he understands us, that he sympathizes with us, that he will be on our side no matter what happens, that he will be on our side to support us.
After all, we shouldn’t forget that research has shown that with a hug our body exploits a hormone, oxytocin, which is known as the love hormone. It is also proven that hugging lowers blood pressure and helps people get sick less. Not to mention the psychological and mental uplift it can offer.
Remember what young children do when they are scared. They ask their parents for a hug, or their favorite teddy bear to hug it to feel better, calm down, take courage, banish fear, feel more confident and safe…
Moreover remember what young children do when they are scared. They ask their parents for a hug, or their favorite teddy bear to hug it to feel better, calm down, take courage, banish fear, feel more confident and safe…
Clinical psychiatrist Harry Harlow experimented. Two monkeys took on the role of mother. One was made of wire and had a metal nipple, which fed the monkey milk (food) at all times, thus covering a basic survival function. On the other hand the other was made of fabric, with a beautifully painted smile, and offered with its temperature and softness a suitable environment for physical contact.
The seperated from their real mothers monkeys, after the initial traumatic period and being able to control their anxiety and fear, clung to the fabric mother. They had imitated her with the real one and used the wire for a dramatically shorter period simply to meet their hunger.
But the experiment did not end here. In the second phase, the monkeys who grew up with the cloth mother came in contact with other monkeys outside the cage. Then they showed anti-social, violent, and self-destructive behavior. They had even attacked their bodies. Touch was not the only variable that would lead to normal behavior.
Then it was decided to place a cloth monkey that could swing, and almost normal behavior was observed. When the monkey was allowed to play for half an hour a day with a real monkey, completely normal behavior was evaluated.
In addition, the time of interactive communication with the newborn should not be determined and described only in quantitative terms but mainly through qualitative characteristics. Let’s not forget that half an hour of play made the difference between the almost normal and the perfectly normal emotionally developed monkeys.
A child who has been hugged grows up with more self-confidence, as a happy child. Like a child who feels worthy as a human being, as a child who feels supported, despite the difficulties he or she may face. Then, as an adult, he will have empathy, emotional competence, understanding, and acceptance of others. In other words, he will have maturity, tolerance for the difference of others, and inner strength.
Given the conditions with the coronavirus, we do not have a hug as a given, or as we would like… However, it is a good opportunity to reflect on its importance, the importance of showing our loved ones how we feel, that we love them…
For a year now, everything is different. Let’s do the same for the hug… This year, let’s not give hugs… Let’s give honesty and emotion… Talk on the phone with our loved ones more frequently… Tell them how much we love them. Show them we understand their problems. Embrace their insecurities and fears… Make them understand that there is someone next to them to support them. Unfortunately, we can’t in other ways, such as with a hug, but let them show in every way that we are there, even mentally, even from a distance…
As soon as all this tragic situation is over, let’s run to them, to our husbands and wives, to our children, to our parents, to our grandparents, to the teachers, to express our love to them and take the greatest of them… A hug that has never existed!!! I wish we had the opportunity to give a huge hug to those who went missing. Or even to those who worked all this time in hospitals to save lives, risking their own and the lives of their families… Can you imagine the whole world a huge hug???
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